The waterworks

...and just like that, it hit suddenly.

I was showering after taking out some aggression on the poor treadmill, and the waterworks started and they simply kept on going.

Despair, hopelessness, loss, and even a desire that it all be over with...it came pouring out, rushing out at a rate faster than the 2.75 gpm of water toppling over my head. Three waves of this quiet but violent expression and then a calm numbness.

God where are you?

or more likely, where am I that I can't hear God?

I feel so lost in this journey...the unbeaten path that I so glamorize out of that Robert Frost poem. I guess he never said it would be easy, or that there wouldn't be times where you're so tired of traveling that you just want to turn around and go back or just give up.

God, I really need you right now. I can't do this by myself. I need you to be my compass...to help me find my way again.