Robert Frost Revisited

One of my favorite poems ever, if not my all-time favorite, is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. If you did not know this before, well, you do now.

Since reading it for the first time, it rang true within me. Even though I look about as straight-laced as Wally from "Leave it to Beaver," I love the idea of daring to be different from the norm and taking the unknown path in life.

Sometimes when this idea becomes reality, things can get a little scary.

In theory, being the guy that ventures on out to uncharted territory is cool...like Louis & Clark when they ventured out to the Western US, or Heisenberg when he defied Albert Einstein (I mean, you gotta have scruples to do that right?) and other brilliant minds with his wildly innovative (and now accepted) uncertainty principle in the first half of the 20th century.

If you're not O.M.G.-ing at my previous examples, then maybe these will help illustrate the type of feeling I'm trying to convey:

- Batman standing up to Gotham corruption.
- Abe Lincoln standing up against the slavery-dependent South.
- The little kid that freed Willy.

In reality, taking the unknown path in life is a little more complicated than the cool story that comes afterwards. When you actually start to take that unworn path, doubts come from all over.

Should I really be going this way? Does the path take a right or a left turn here? Why has this path not been blazed recently? Was that a tick? Should I turn around, go back, and re-think things?

I'm sure that the possibility of getting assassinated for his stance on things had crossed through Lincoln's mind, just like Batman probably wondered if he was gonna make it through the battle against the Joker...and we all know that without the miracle of CGI, Willy would have only landed on the little kid and then died, finalizing the movie's huge emotional build up (complete with Michael Jackson theme song) with extreme disappointment and lots of traumatized little kids leaving the theater.

For me, deciding against dentistry and choosing to stay in the area with the idea of developing a career out of ministry feels like I'm continuing on the unworn path even though I've just spotted bear tracks.

...as in the type that belong to KILLER BEARS!

---------------------------------------

"...and it has made all the difference."

Most people probably take this to mean that the character in the poem made it big...that he experienced lots of success landing him some sort of book deal, or documentary, or at least a village homecoming party.

Instead, I'm thinking that perhaps taking the unworn path makes such a huge difference because we learn just how much of a gift our lives are. First, this comes in the form of fear because a lot of times, it means leaving our comfort zones. Rather than flipping out over a mosquito orbiting your ear, we're thinking about that killer bear prowling about. We become thankful for each day.

After a while, we even start worrying a little less about the killer bear. As it turns out, a lot of the things we think we absolutely can't live without are really just extra layers of comfort.

Finally, we get to a point where we begin to see and enjoy how God provides for the things we really need, and then some. Aside from the fact that we're still alive and well while on this unknown path, we almost start preparing for the possibility that the bear might show up and juggle ping pong balls while riding on a unicycle.

For me, traveling the unknown path is about trusting in God's direction even when I have no clue where that is going. Right now, I feel like I've crossed over several sets of bear tracks. The doubt in me is just waiting for the killer claw to come out...but the faithful part of me just knows that what I'll get instead is the juggling bear act of a lifetime.

...on music and dancing.

Before you can make any sense out of this entry, I must tell you that I will use music and dancing almost interchangeably...not because they are one and the same, but because it can be assumed that any time there is music playing, there's a 99% chance that I'm dancing.

-------------------------

These days I've started to wonder exactly why is it that I love dancing. I know relatively very few guys that share this passion as I do (actually, do I know any?), and unfortunately a lot of guys that dance seem to do it with motives entirely different from mine. For me, it's not about being sleazy, or about pride, or about any sort of horizontal anything...it's about the music and I.

But why?

Well, I think it's something like this. Music within my life is like stopping to eat dinner at a nice restaurant during a long trip where the rental car is cramped and has an a/c that is about as effective as a squirrel blowing air off an ice cube. You know, the kind of dinner experience that almost makes you forget that you have another 9+ hours to go. As soon as a great song (maybe even a cheesy song) comes on, there is an instant connection between the innermost alleles of my soul and each beat, phrase, measure, rhythm, and chord. Every bitter pill of the day, or week, or month, just gets dimmed out.

For me it's better than any amount of alcohol, or even a large tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I just put a song on, and whether it's a 3-minute 30-second session or an evening-long event, I forget about schedules, finances, worries, and insecurities.

Ultimately, I do end up facing the real Goliaths in my life...but at least when things seem to be at their worst, it buys me the time I need to gather my wits for the battle.

How I see evidence of God in science

Yesterday, my organic chemistry professor put this up on the screen and said: Can anyone tell me the name of this molecule?

After a while of complete silence, he identified it as Acetyl CoA (and as a Biology major, I bowed my head in shame). Even though I've drawn plenty of biochemical structures including DNA, ATP, and all that good stuff, my professors never required that we draw this structure (and now I see why). It took me about a good minute to even copy it down.

In case you aren't familiar with Acetyl CoA, this molecule is integral to all animal life. Perhaps its most well-known role is within a series of cellular reactions collectively known as cellular respiration. In simple terms, this molecule is partially the reason why we have to breathe and why burgers can deliver tons of energy to our bodies.

The thing that the professor was explaining to us briefly is that this molecule has to be reactive enough to take part in cellular respiration, but not too reactive or else it would react with the tons of water in our bodies and break up into little pieces.

In other words, it had to be perfect from the start for life to even survive. What are the odds that it happened entirely by chance, rather than by meticulous design?

About a Dog

Here is a cute beagle running on grass in the day.



Now, take away the grass,

replace the sunlight with moonlight,

...and put the middle of a country road as the background.


Then, about 10 feet away, put a Jeep Grand Cherokee heading towards it at about 50-55mph.

Now, put me in the driver's seat & add a "I never saw this coming" gasp.

At that moment, time seemed to slow down (like that scene from the car chase in "Wanted" where the car does this crazy sideways flip over a police barricade...in slow motion right up until the landing).

That instant, about 20 CDs flew into the air off of a spindle, the front of my car felt an incredible amount of force, and I pushed on the brake pedal until my knee kinda hurt.

The brakes made this gritty noise, alternating quickly with the sound of screeching tires.

I was waiting for it: a yelp, a thud, a bump, and a tear-invoking scene in the rear view.

...and then nothing happened. I (a little surprised) look to my left only to see the dog (still sprinting) through a series of bushes into his or her house.

It was at that moment that I thanked God that a. I've been driving slower to save on gas b. That the anti-lock brakes on the jeep deployed (it's the only family car with ABS) and c. that someone's pet didn't get seriously hurt. Whew!

Bambi's Not So Friendly Neighbors: Part 2

...like I said, it's been like something out of National Geographic out at the apartment the last couple of weeks. This one, well, this felt a lot more like Man vs. Wild...so here goes:

One afternoon, I'm getting ready to load some stuff into my car to take to my sister's house, and I start to go out of the back entrance of the apartment (because it's somewhat closer to my car), and there's this 3-4ft black snake (with a somewhat faint white spotted pattern on its back) that is about 2 feet away.

My initial reaction: Run back inside!!!

So, as I try to figure out what to do, I tried to spook it away with a few random objects lying on the porch (nothing heavy...a few things to shoo it away it with to show it that it was un-welcomed). Well, rather than getting spooked, it started coming at me.

Then, it gave that "I'm threatened" pose where it curls up at the "neck" (if snakes have necks) in striking position. I thought I saw the characteristic triangle-shaped head of a venomous snake...and that's when the machete and the broom came out.

At first, I figured I'd distract it with the broom and then kill it with the machete...but then when I went outside, the adrenaline "fight" response kicked-in and I just started running towards it with alternating strikes from the broom and the machete striking the ground (picture this action like you would really bad karate chops). Apparently, it decided it had had enough and started fleeing.

...and then I somehow struck it with my machete. I believe I injured it pretty badly, even though it still escaped.

Later on through some internet research I realized that it was actually a rat snake and not venomous. I felt horrible, because even though that thing was pretty big, and probably dangerous to have around when it's not afraid of you enough to go away when it sees you, I had injured the creature that probably saved my apartment from mice & rats. I wish I had either just killed it, or left it alone rather than thinking that the poor thing probably suffered before it died later that day.

Sometimes, I feel like God tends to use nature to teach me things...probably because I love nature. I know...this sounds ironic after I just told you I mortally wounded a non-venomous snake...but this is an isolated incident (promise!).

Regardless, I think it says a lot about fear.

Sometimes, we fear things unnecessarily. The fear I experienced when I encountered that snake is the same fear that grips me when I worry about the future and all the what ifs (or what if nots) involved. It's the same fear I get when worrying excessively about making a living, the fear of being too weird to fit in, and the fear of taking a necessary risk.

What does fear really do? Well, one possibility is that it can move us into action...usually either you stay and fight, or you take off running. The other possibility is that it paralyzes you. In my opinion, neither is usually good.

When we take action out of fear, our actions are usually the result of a rash or irrational decision and can lead to us doing things we regret...like my machete striking that poor snake even though it did nothing other than give me a good scare. When fear paralyzes us...we let whatever we're afraid of continue to inflict fear, and disengage from doing anything about it. It would have been like me just standing out there 2 feet away from the snake that was coming towards me and not doing something to prevent a defensive (or even offensive...who knows, it could have been hungry!) bite.

I realize that you can't generalize fear as a wholly bad thing, and in this case I'm talking about fearing things we can't control.

What if I never get into dental school? What if I can't get a job? What if I created much more difficult obstacles for myself to now have to overcome due to past regrettable decisions? What if I take a risk and it doesn't work out?

If you read Psalms, David constantly reminds us that even our greatest fears (& worries) are nothing compared to God. Maybe David worried about his fears like I do and needed constant self-reminders...or perhaps he grew quickly in wisdom and was just passing on the information. The point is, God is simply bigger than any of our obstacles, and in the same way, He's bigger than our greatest fears.

I have to remind myself every day to trust that He's good, that He's in control, and that He's bigger than even the worst of nightmares.

Bambi's Not So Friendly Neighbors: Part 1.

The last several weeks have felt like a live episode of National Geographic. If you've read one of my first entries, you'll know that living in this apartment has meant some awkward encounters with Bambi & friends. To share some of my most memorable encounters with nature since then, here's a few:


The Fox

One afternoon I actually spotted a fox about 10 ft. from me and my car as it went across some lawn into the woods. I was actually pretty excited (and sad that I didn't have a camera on me)...I'd never been that close to a fox before. Apparently, it didn't see me as a threat because it stopped, glanced at me, and then went on its merry way. Either way, it was small enough that I could have probably punted it into the woods if I had to. Don't worry, I love animals...but in a survival situation, I'm not above punting.


The Geese

One Sunday as I left Truelife Church (in a fairly commercial area of Raleigh), there were two Canadian geese just chilling right outside the entrance. At first I thought they were those plastic fake geese that people put out in front of their lawns (although I did wonder why either a Pump It Up Kid's playspace or a minimalist/modern furniture store would want to put out fake Canada geese in their lawn)...and then one of them started honking and making threatening gestures at me while the other one completely ignored me and went to town on engulfing patch of grass. I did snap a picture while the geese were still friendly, however.


The Spider

The other week, while getting off an exit ramp from the highway, a glimmer of yellow showed up momentarily at the edge of the bill on my baseball cap. I became a little concerned because I knew that the glimmer of yellow was neither a) the sun nor b) a golden lock of hair belonging to me...because I was in the car (thus no direct sunlight) and I don't have either golden or long hair. I get to a stoplight, took my cap off to inspect it, and AAAAH!...out of nowhere a medium-sized, golden-yellow spider appeared on top of my cap. If you know me, you know that spiders and I aren't exactly friends...so I spazzed out and threw the hat across the car into the passenger floor mat. I have to say that whoever was next to me at the stoplight at this point must have laughed hysterically at the inconvenient situation that had developed inside my car. I'm happy to say that once I got to my sister's house, I disposed of the spider...although I always check my caps now to make sure there are no spiders on them.


The (Flying) Squirrel

One of my favorite nature moments happened one morning as I went to clean the window to my room from the outside of the apartment.

Here's how it went down (no pun intended): It was around 8AM, and I went outside to finish up my moving out cleaning. All of a sudden, there's this squirrel flying diagonally overhead, seemingly out of nowhere. Apparently, it was sneaking around on the balcony above me and I startled it.

The squirrel startled me in return as it completely missed the tree branch and flopped onto the grass. A little dazed, it took a moment, then hopped up suddenly (as if remembering that it was running away) and ran into the woods. I have to admit that I laughed pretty hard at the poor fella's flying jump miscalculation.

Well, that's it for now!

The Scotland Experience

So, I just thought I'd put up a link to the Scotland Missions Trip blog. Partially while in Scotland, and partially right afterwards, I wrote a series of blog entries for each day that the team spend there, marking some of the highlights of what we did and what we learned.

To go to it, just click here.

I hope you enjoy it.

Saludos,
- Greg

The pencil

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world."
- Mother Teresa

I first heard this quote from a speaker at the Southeast Chi Alpha SALT conference, and I find it to be pretty profound & inspiring to the kind of person that I want to be.

Krispy Kreme Challenge

I finally checked the results from the Krispy Kreme Challenge (which took place on the posting date of this entry, although this entry was finished later), and I didn't make it into the hour cut-off to be considered a successful challenger. I ended up being 2 minutes over the hour mark according to their timing, although a few minutes definitely passed of just waiting in line for everyone else to start running, so maybe I did complete it based on my actual start time vs. the gun time. Either way, it was a lot of fun to get to go with some of the guys (Kemp, Tom, Reklis, Doc) and take on the challenge.

In case you're unfamiliar with this event, the Krispy Kreme Challenge is a yearly competition at N.C. State that raises money for the NC Children's hospital.

The challenge itself consists of:
1. Running 2 miles from the N.C. State bell tower to the Krispy Kreme in downtown Raleigh.
2. Eating 1 dozen donuts.
3. Running the 2 miles back to the bell tower.
...all within an hour.

By the way, 1 dozen = 2,400 Calories.

It was definitely worth it considering that the event raised something like 20k for the Children's Hospital. PLUS, I learned two very important things about myself: That I can actually eat a dozen donuts...and that, given the option, I would rather not.